The Messiness of Love

I was awake before the 6:00 a.m. alarm went off, but I was in no rush to get up. After all, the Y pool didn’t open until 7:00, and I live 15 minutes away. So, as long as I could resist the call of nature, I lingered in bed and then went to let the dogs out. As I approached the kitchen, my olfactory sense detected that smell, the one I associated with dogs straining, hunched over in the grass. For the second day in a row, Seamus had decorated the floor with daybreak defecation. In fairness to my border collie, indoor toileting is not a habit; he must have eaten something he shouldn’t have. At-any-rate, it was all over the place, just waiting for me to clean up.

Yesterday, I’d grabbed vinyl gloves and paper towels and scooted around the floor on my knees, picking up poop piles and pushing my plastic step ladder ahead of me so I could get up when the job was done. My knees were still sore from that maneuver. So this time, I used a rubber squeegee and a dustpan to clear the way for mopping. Once the floor was done and the windows opened, I snatched up my swim bag and drove off, musing about messes. Life is full of them.

Too often, I regard unsatisfying relationships as messes to be cleaned up. I analyze, obsess, and criticize, trying to make sense of untidy situations, wanting to fix whatever is broken. At times, this is impossible because the solution requires cooperation, and the other person is either unwilling or uninterested. What then, do I do with the mess?

Interestingly, God never tells us we have to be successful at repairing strained relationships. What the New Testament writers did bang on endlessly about though was love. We can love even when it’s not reciprocated. Even if (ouch) we are perpetually regarded with disfavor. Even if there’s no satisfactory closure for us in this lifetime. We can do this because God loved us first and wants to duplicate Himself in us–to love through us, which requires a different duo: God and me.

And God is always ready to participate.

This is my commandment, that you love one another just as I have loved you. John 15: 12

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